The Heart Ritual
I finally gathered the courage to look into my heart, take a peek into the shape and state of my heart. I support as a heart healer
Last year I went through an ending of a long term relationship, the one I thought would be my one and forever love. It was difficult, but it was liberating at the same time. I had completely lost my self in the relationship.
The heart break was quite heartbreaking ;) perhaps the end of the relationship, a client mentioned the dwelling period was more soul crushing. Where you are starting to emotionally disconnect and somehow still hoping for a magical turnaround.
So Friday evening I sat down with my heart. As someone who wants everything to be quick and used to be always in a hurry, the old me creeped in and I was on a mission to heal my heart. 💓
I opened the heart ritual and held the heart. I didn’t know what to expect or what would happen, as I held my heart, it was quite surreal it felt like my heart was in my hand and I was looking at it.
I opened a new notebook, gifted by a friend and started to journal based on a few prompts that came up for me.
Who and or what hurt my heart?
What are my hearts greatest desires, yet to come into being.
A few smaller ruptures came through, a lot of tears came through.
Then I did a guided meditation the one shared by Bahar, and after that I was ready.
Time for Step 2: Break Open
I broke the heart after a first smash followed by another. Ouch! Whoaa I opened the heart and ofcourse here it was in pieces.
I instinctively started to write on the small pieces, what was on my heart.
There were three really big pieces, I guess the most prominent residents or the largest ruptures and also a love beyond words which held my heart together.
It unveiled hurts I didn’t know I was carrying, trust broken by a friend, unsupportive close ones in my hardest times and the relationship with the divine thwarted, unfulfilled expectations and more.
I love music and do all my crystal energy sessions with music, so ofcourse there was a playlist which resonated with me as I tried to piece my heart together.
I was determined to fix it all in one day. You can’t rush your healing, the song kept playing in my head.
I started to join the pieces and it was started to make sense, emotions arose, insights came in with clarity, realisations, forgiveness and a lot of tears. All that energy that was blocked,
The gates guarding my heart began to open slowly, it was like a mystery novel or a film where each scene revealed more. Aha moment after aha moment and more tears.
After putting together a large part of my heart, and 2 hours I couldn’t carry on anymore. I needed rest, I needed to integrate all the healing that was happening.
After years of being on this journey of healing, I know my most intense healing integration happens with my favourite childhood food - noodles and samosas. I’ve learnt enough self love to not guilt trip or deny myself food in these moments of integration.
After food I slept to integrate further in my dreams, but before I slept, I was called to head to my Bhakti yoga class at Svaha Yoga with Ida on Saturdays. It’s where I go regularly to connect with my heart and heal in small doses, the heart ritual was looking at the heart all at once in that moment of time. My intention for the Bhakti Yoga Class was to dissolve all the blocks in my heart towards love.
Usually ,I cry while singing but this time, in an asana tears flowed and I sank into my heart having a conversation with someone in my heart seeking forgiveness for my way of being at the time, I felt connected and forgiven.
Then the singing was like a shower or love and so healing for my heart 💓after 15 minutes of witnessing the pride I went home. The plan was to fix the rest of the heart, but it wasn’t time yet.
After a short weekend trip to Texel and a few realisations and some intense dreams. It was Tuesday and I was excited and looking forward to fix ha, heal the rest really.
But the universe or let’s say my heart had a different plan.
An impromptu meeting with a friend , led to diving deeper into my heart to understand what’s really going on.
She asked me some questions that helped me answer a few questions I had. How come there was no hurt from my past relationship on my heart? It helped me understand that.
The conversations helped me understand some or the blocks I hold towards love, some patterns that linger on and what would be my greatest dream
Perhaps the ritual would have been a great support if I did it last year as well. Maybe I would love to do it as an annual practice or more often even.I was called to do it last year but I was hesitant and stuck in survival mode. I definitely needed it then and I needed it now. We are simply not used to taking care of our hearts.
If you’re navigating a recent breakup, heartbreak, divorce, grief, loss or feeling alone or stuck in your relationship it can be an act of self love to muster up the courage to peek into your heart and perhaps find some healing and support within the safety of your company and within your home.
If you would like personal support through your relationship, you are invited to journey into your heart with me through the power and magic of crystals or an oracle card reading, you can find out more here on the website.
During the crystal energy sessions, I place crystals on different parts of your body and hold space for your heart to soften and open to allow transformation, rest and healing to happen. With music you seep deep into the chambers of your heart and find rest and rejuvenation.
You can find the heart ritual and more at the Ektara Heart Space @ 4, Spiegelgracht, 1017 JR Amsterdam
There’s wholeness in brokenness? Beauty in the spaces. You can find more about the heart ritual here.